Reflection on Love
Love is not about mushy-gushy feelings. It's not about "getting" or being fulfilled or completed by another person (as that is not humanly possible). Rather, instead of feelings, love is more about choices. Some say we do not choose who we love, but I would have to disagree. While I don't think we have much choice in who we are attracted to, we absolutely choose who to love because love is about commitment, which must be chosen. In order to love someone, you have to know them, and getting to know someone takes dedication, perseverance, and patience.
But loving someone also does not mean forgetting or neglecting the self, as we often think. Love is the acknowledgement of two "selves" who know each other intimately and yet still say "I choose you because you are worth it." This does not always equate to the destruction or diminution of one for the sake of the other, but involves both parties seeking to be their best and challenging each other to be even better than when alone. This is not merely in the context of romantic love, but love in all of its equally valuable forms.
The love between two people is a union that builds up both "selves" as well as their surrounding community. It is a state that takes time, tenderness, and intention. Anger, resentment, insecurity, and fear are fleeting in such a union, which is founded on openness and trust. Because of this, there is no doubt for either "self" that they are truly loved, exactly as they are. And nothing is more beautiful than that.
*Photography: Joe Borgia